I have to be very careful sometimes when I start writing words.
My daughter is a faithful reader of my blog posts,
and she has, more than once, called me to say,
"You scared me when I first started reading".
Like she thought I was going off the deep end or seeing things in a bleak fashion.
That is never my intent, I am normally a very happy, seeing the bowl half full type of person,
but sometimes the melodrama kicks in,
I fancy myself a writer
and the words just come out.
I can read a book and think why didn't I think of that phrase
or why didn't I explain a situation just like that?
It is always easy to see things in someone else's mirror
but sometimes harder to see them in your own.
But, then I write words like those you just read,
and I feel foolish and embarrassed reading them back.
Like I am trying to be more than I am.
That has always been my problem and it is a hard one to break.
As long as I can remember,
I have always wanted to be a decorator/designer.
I don't mean someone who changes pillow covers and sets a pretty table,
I mean one who went to school, put in the hard work, and earned the piece of paper that states,
"You are Qualified".
I was never what you would call a good student.
I easily picked up typing, shorthand, spelling, reading, times tables (but only through 10)
but I only learned the basics of history, math, English or anything that took a big effort.
I kind of tackled school the same way I do gardening.
Do it once and then think it will take care of itself forever after.
School, itself, was not my focus.
I took interest in subjects that I liked but didn't want to put the effort into anything that I didn't
or what didn't come easy right away.
Friends and fun took center stage during those years for me.
I ended up after high school, going to business school, and I had some good secretarial jobs after that.
I enjoyed it but after getting married and having children,
I didn't want to do that kind of work anymore,
I just wanted to stay home and enjoy my family.
I was fortunate that the Captain always had a good job
and that made it possible for me to do that.
I did do some house cleaning for a couple of ladies, while the kids were in school,
but since I always enjoyed cleaning the house, those didn't seem like jobs,
just extensions of what I liked to do.
They let me change their furniture arrangements,
arrange flowers for their tables
and the money I earned went for anything that would improve the decorations in my home.
So, I guess I fulfilled my wishes in a way.
I dabble in decorating, whether right or wrong,
without having to be put to the test.
I mentioned flower arranging
and that would have been another big bright spot in my world
had I taken hold of the reins and made a decision to learn how to do it.
Looking back, it was always easier to sit and dream and wish
than to actually do anything that would lead to something substantial.
The same with photography.
I did take a photography class at one time,
but rather than really learn how to use a camera,
I was only interested in taking the picture.
To this day,
I don't know what many of the adjustments are
or how to use them.
I think it is a natural part of human growth
to see life in a different perspective the older you get.
I am more than happy with the way my life is.
I don't have a lot of money, and no matter how anyone may think or feel, money is key,
but I am comfortable.
I don't need much else, but it is fun to be able to buy a 'little something' when you want to.
We have traveled some and feel content to be 'home' now
and we have a wonderful family, where things are always changing for the good,
and these things are all what make a satisfying life.
But, still, I find myself looking back sometimes
on 'what might have been' and thinking how great it could have been
but not regretting it, at all, as to how it is now.
Does that make sense?
That is what I mean when I say that I have to be careful in the words that I write.
In my head it always makes sense,
but does it in yours?
All this retrospect came forth for the small price of $4.99.
We had Discovery Plus added to our lineup of good TV shows.
Surely, by now, you know how important TV is to me!
There are a whole lot of shows that are of interest to us,
but the Magnolia Network is the best.
Chip and Joanna Gaines of Fixer Upper fame have started this network
and they have chosen different characters from different walks of life
in the same way that they have always tackled every one of their projects,
with so much thought, natural ability, expertise and class.
One of my favorites, out of many, is a show called "Growing Floret".
A story of a very talented and determined young woman in Washington state
who is a flower farmer
and how she, her husband and crew, have made her dream come true.
I ordered her current book,
"A Year In Flowers",
and it is filled with nothing but
true beauty and good advice.
done by Erin's husband, Chris, is just glorious.
This couple is certainly fulfilling their destiny
through hard work, fortitude, learning as they go, and the will to achieve her dreams
of changing the world,
one flower at a time...
I hope you are enjoying
a wonderful summer
doing all the things you love to do.
Christmas In July
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